Tales from the Teith – panting and ranting…


I am in serious training. I have 3 weeks until I am running a relay in the Edinburgh marathon.  High on endorphins, I am becoming quite addicted and I wonder if I am starting to bore people with my running times and distances. Smiling and giggling to myself for no reason, I am especially bad when the sun is shining. It would be best if I could wipe the smile off my face. Appearing quite mad to strangers, I must be extremely annoying to miserable people with all my bouncing around.  I walk quite strangely the day after my runs. I sort of waddle and get up very slowly with strange facial expressions. My bones creak. People are so very polite, they do not pass comment.

Three times a week, for an hour each time, I run with two friends and the dog.  Occasionally a child accompanies us on their bike. A great deal of therapeutic ranting and panting can be done during this time.  I have several scenic, rural running routes to choose from. They all involve wildlife and strange noises.  Last week two Deer ran out in front of us.  There are always Pheasants, Rabbits and Lambs. On lucky days we see a Red Kite or two flying ahead, a Goosander, the odd Hare and of course my Heron.  Irritatingly Action Man, home for a rare long weekend, saw an Otter on the river this morning.

If only I could stop rewarding myself with those glasses of wine, Mars Bars and Walkers Sensations crisps that are essential to help keep my strength up, I  would be as skinny as a rake.  I have noticed that all my shoes are becoming too big for me.   Am I shrinking? This is a worry, I am quite small already. Action Man looks gigantic next to me. I really cannot face going shoe shopping, but I am sure Action Man would not want me to trip over in shoes too big for me. He will understand when I tell him.  I will make sure to give him a nice big glass of wine first.

The novelty of oyster catchers has word off a bit now!

The novelty of oyster catchers has worn off a bit now!

The novelty of the Oyster Catchers has worn off slightly.  They have taken to tweeting loudly in the early hours.  I am convinced they have purposely targeted my house. I am being stalked.  They practically deafen me with their screeching at 4.30am on the dot every single morning. I have moved into the spare bedroom and put earplugs in every night.  They fall out and in the mornings I spend 5 minutes looking for them without my contact lenses in. It is all a bit futile and my temper gets a little frayed.  I cannot see a thing.  The children are very helpful during this time.

And what of Action Man you may be wondering. He has been busy at a career’s fair in Perth, an interview with his careers advisor in Edinburgh and has a CV from which he is battling to remove the good old Army three letter abbreviations.  He sadly does not live with me during the week.  He finds me so much sweeter in small doses. He graces me with his presence on a Friday and runs off quickly on a Sunday evening with the dog to the peace and quiet of an Army mess where meals are served to him with a smile.  He surprised me last week by arriving home 3 hours early.  He was still in his uniform. It may have been the endorphins but I was really quite impressed. I really do find him quite pleasing to the eye. Things would be just perfect if he could leave all his bags, shoes, washing and kit in the car and not make a mess whilst in the house.

The river front in Callender.

The river front in Callander.

According to my son, I am the best mother in the world.  This heart warming news was delivered after his swimming lesson last week as he guzzled fish and chips next to the River in Callander.  Nothing nicer than a fish supper with extra vinegar and a can of Irn Bru on a Friday night.  We might see some Ducklings if we are lucky.

Got to keep my strength up, I am in training……

Moira Douglas

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